Aouie's Journal

Saturday, January 06, 2007

My Little Baby

Once upon a time I had a little baby. I met him in April 2002, the summer before my fourth year in college, just a few months after he turned one. He's a smart little boy who loves to dance, clap, and talk, and he's a big eater who once cried and screamed his head off when he saw me walk away to take a call from my dad. He's a smart, sweet, and happy baby. He's my baby...my little Joseph.

Joseph was adopted and brought to Australia right before I graduated from college. I've never seen him or heard anything about him since then, not that I ever went back to the orphanage where I used to play with him for two hours a week, every week for almost a year. I know it's not anyone's fault, I even knew from the beginning that his adoption was bound to happen, but I got attached and having him leave hurts. I couldn't bring myself to go back because I figured if I don't see for myself that he's not there anymore, I can always pretend that he's still there but I'm just too busy to visit.

It's his sixth birthday today and I know he doesn't remember me or a single thing we did. But it's okay. I can remember for the two of us...

I remember playing blocks with him...I remember watching cartoons with him sitting on my lap...I remember helping him eat Jolly Spaghetti and Yumburger...I remember the swimming trip in Antipolo, the mini-concert on the Bel Field, and the Ecopark field trip in my old high school...most of all, I remember him falling asleep in my arms with me thinking that there really is nothing in the world more peaceful than having a child fall asleep in your arms.

Happy birthday my dearest baby. I know you don't remember me and probably will never have any memory of us spending time together, but know that there will always be someone here, back home, loving you, thinking of how you are, and praying for your well-being. Be good to your parents, okay? And be the best person you can be. How I wish I could see you today so I can give you a big birthday hug.

I love you Joseph and I really, really miss you.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Labels: scribblings from me