Friday, December 29, 2006
Of 365 Days and More
A week ago, I was looking forward to my first Christmas break in two years and hating the fact that three days before Christmas I have yet to do any Christmas shopping. A month ago, I was on my last shift in Trend Micro - editing my last VRs, cleaning out my locker, and packing away two years and nine months worth of junk. Exactly a year ago, we were in Mega Mall having dinner and laughing our hearts out watching Ako Legal Wife. I didn't even realize until I was on my way home yesterday that it's already been a year since that night you brought me home and I finally had you read my moving on letter.
In the past year, so much has changed in my life. I remember telling you that night, "malay mo this time next year marami ng nagbago, malay mo wala na ko sa Trend by then," and although I had an entirely different scenario in mind when I said that, in effect the same thing still happened. I am no longer with Trend Micro and it is at a much earlier time than I anticipated two months ago. You also started clerkship last April and we haven't seen each other since we went out on Valentine's Day. My world as I've always known it to be has changed, except I am still not over you and I have yet to let go of every what could have been and every what could still be in the past that we shared.
When I got home after we talked, I thought that was it. I thought I'd never see or talk to you again. But then Valentine's Day came along and the life I was rebuilding was shattered yet again. A friend asked me once if I'd still choose to go through everything that happened between us if I knew in the beginning how things would eventually turn out. I thought things over for awhile, going through in my mind every single happy and sad moment I had with and because of you, and I told her I wouldn't change anything. I'd still choose to go through every moment of those four years and I'd still choose to feel every bit of happiness and every bit of pain because with those came the lessons that brought me to where I am now.
The last 365 days were full of changes - some happy, mostly painful. I've changed and grown so much, not just in the past year but ever since that fateful day in September 2002, and I'd like you to know you were a big part of every transformation I went through. Despite everything, thank you. Thank you for the love that though not mine, made me feel special even for just that moment in my life; thank you for the happy memories that never failed to make me smile; thank you for the pain that made me stronger; and most of all, thank you for the truth that made me realize I have a choice. I've always had a choice and four years ago, I chose to love you.
XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: scribblings from me
Sunday, December 17, 2006
2006 Christmas Wish List
This was last year's Christmas wish list:
1. a better political and economic situation in the philippines
2. a full length mirror
3. a professional digital camera
4. photography lessons
5. a trip around the philippines [at least one beautiful place per region]
6. an asian-pacific cruise
7. a 120GB external hard drive
8. a laptop
9. a wireless internet connection at home
10. a neopets premium account [hehehe...]
[covering wishes 11-20]
a special someone to share my wishes, my christmas, and my life with...
Three out of 11 [or 20 if we go by technicalities], have to do better than that this year. Oh well...this is my 2006 Christmas Wish List:
1. all three post secret books
2. a full length mirror
3. a professional digital camera
4. travel - either around the philippines [at least one beautiful place per region] or on an asian-pacific cruise
5. a hand-held TV
6. a job, which will give me lots of money, enough free time to do non-work-related things, and loads of personal fulfillment, while at the same time reconciling my parents to my staying in the country [i can dream can't i?]
7. an asset that will actually earn me money and whose value will not depreciate with time
8. meet erik santos in person and have my picture taken with him [jologs ako...so shoot me!]
9. UAAP tickets to all admu games for season 70
10. him as my boyfriend [so tanga ako...gago naman siya eh kaya bagay pa rin kami!]
XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: lists quizzes and surveys
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
5:33 PM
Friday, December 15, 2006
The Post-Trend Experience
I started my new job last December 5 and though everything's been pleasant enough for me, I must admit that there are things that I miss. As I told one of my ex-officemates, I am Trend-sick.
Before I actually left Trend, I knew I'd miss the network shares, but what I wasn't able to anticipate was how much I'd actually miss it. There are no network shares to speak of in EMCI. We also don't get to have administrator access to our own PCs, the sounds have been disabled, and our PCs do not recognize external drives. We cannot install anything without the IT knowing about it simply because they are the only ones who have install capabilities on all PCs in the office. I can't listen to MP3s on my PC because the sounds have been disabled, not that we'd even get to put MP3 files in our hard drives because, unless you send your MP3s to your yahoo email address, there's no way any external drive can be opened on the PC.
On a positive note though, no flash drives mean we're not expected to bring any work home. I have AIM installed on my PC, and recently our Project Manager requested for YM and Skype, and I can still play [at least briefly] neopets and blog my heart out, so I'm pretty much okay. As an additional perk, I get to have my own cubicle and my own set of drawers this time.
I miss my old work schedule. I miss being able to go to the mall, to Ateneo, to Quiapo, to Divisoria, to basically wherever I please, during weekdays without worrying over any traffic or weekend crowds. I also used to be able to stay up all night and not worry about work the following day. But I love flexi-time. I love arriving at work early in the morning and leaving the office before rush hour begins. I've also learned to sleep during the long FX ride to and from the office. My transportation expenses have more than doubled since I started working in Makati [from 800 a month to 2,000 a month] but I've stopped eating out and started bringing lunch to the office and oddly, my overall expenses have decreased.
I enjoy having my weekends and holidays back, not to mention being able to schedule gimmicks with friends because I finally have a normal work schedule. This December is the first time in two years that I wouldn't be spending part of Christmas or New Year anywhere near the office. I will sort of miss it though because Christmas and New Year in Trend is a lot of fun. But then again, it's okay. I'm perfectly fine where I am.
This will sound weird, but I miss the noisy work environment in Trend. I miss the sudden bursts of laughter, the noisy chatter, and the work, chat, talk, and eat at the same time habits of everyone in the office. EMCI is so freaking quiet that I sometimes hate walking around because the clip clop sounds of my boots echo in the hallway. I also find it hard to adjust to the fact that barely anything is communal. I have my own mug, my own stash of toilet paper, and my own sponge and bottle of dishwashing liquid inside my drawer. And as far as officemates are concerned, I really miss the people in Trend - with the little tiffs and YM status wars, the little practical jokes, and the surprise emails you get in your mailbox that liven up an otherwise boring shift. Every time I see an unlocked PC in EMCI, I smile to myself because I know that had that happened in Trend, especially in my old shift, that unfortunate and forgetful being would have already been the butt of a joke known as the "I've always loved you pare" email, with everyone else in the BCC field.
Trend wasn't my first job and I always knew Trend wasn't the status quo as far as companies go, but I did stay for almost three years and I know I have a lot of adjusting to do. It's just kind of ironic that a security company like Trend Micro is a whole lot more lax as far as PC rights and work environment is concerned.
Right now, I barely know anyone in EMCI and even after two weeks in the office, I still do not consider myself settled, especially since I have yet to do anything productive [unless you count the 39 pages worth of movie and TV show quotes that I was able to compile as I pretended to be busy and occupied]. But I know I will settle in eventually, make new friends, and get used to a new environment and a new routine. I am still in the process of getting over my Trend-sickness and I am not ashamed to say so. One of my ex-officemates, who resigned before I did, said that getting out of Trend is like having a breath of fresh air. I never said I hated Trend, I just said I was tired. My almost three years in the company, though not smooth-sailing, wasn't all that bad. I have a lot of good memories that I wouldn't exchange even for the highest-paying job in the world.
I miss Trend, I miss the people, and I miss my old routine. But though I wouldn't change anything that happened even if I could rewrite history, I know in my heart that I am not willing to go back. I may not yet be adjusted, but I'm okay. Trend Micro will always be a part of who I am but I have moved on and there's no turning back.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
today is the effectivity date of my resignation. i am officially no longer an employee of Trend Micro...Labels: scribblings from me, work-related
