Thursday, October 12, 2006
alles Gute zum Geburtstag
alles Gute zum Geburtstag my dearest. here's a virtual cake for you. i hope you have wonderful day ahead.
XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: random ramblings, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
8:15 AM
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Of New Numbers and Text Messages
last night as i was drifting off to sleep, a text message came in and with half-closed eyes i read the text. it was an unknown number informing me of a new number. but the nitwit who woke me up forgot to say whose new number it was. while i was composing a polite "who's this" text message, another message came in.
so you changed numbers...
XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: random ramblings, snapshots
Monday, September 25, 2006
After Two and a Half Months
i've been really bad with updating my blog. it's just that, it's that time of the year again and my life is on hold. hahahaha...
these have kept me busy the past 2 and a half months...
XOXOXOXOXOXO
apart from my usual obsessions, not much has been happening in my life...Labels: snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
7:35 AM
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
@ Linden Suites
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Jun 30-Jul 1, 2006Labels: snapshots
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Weekend with Old Friends
before
after
XOXOXOXOXOXO
New World Hotel, Jun 10-11, 2006Labels: snapshots
Sunday, May 28, 2006
*sigh*
wish you were with me...
XOXOXOXOXOXO
punta fuego - may 25-26, 2006Labels: random ramblings, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
1:38 PM
Friday, May 12, 2006
The Missing Piece
This is a fairy tale for adults. It tells the story of a circle that was missing a piece. A large triangular wedge had been cut out of it.
The circle wanted to be whole with nothing missing, so it went around looking for it's missing piece. But because it was incomplete and therefore could only roll very slowly, it admired the flowers along the way. It chatted with worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces, but none of them fit. So it left them all by the side of the road and continued searching.
Then one day the circle found a piece that fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing missing. It was incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to roll. Now that it was a perfect circle, it could roll very fast, too fast to notice the flowers or talk to the worms.
When it realized how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly by, it stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled slowly away.
Moral of the story
In some strange sense we are more whole when we are missing something. The man who has everything is in some ways a poor man. He will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourish his soul with the dream of something better. He will never know the experience of having someone who loves him give him something he has always wanted and never had.
There is a wholeness about the person who has to come to terms with his own limitations, who has been brave enough to let go of his unrealistic dreams and not feel like a failure for doing so. There is a wholeness about the man or woman who has learned that he or she is strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, who can lose someone and still feel like a complete person. You have been through the worst and come through intact.
Life like a baseball season, where even the best team loses one-third of the games and even the worst has its days of brilliance. Our goal is to win more games than we lose.
When we accept that imperfection is part of human being, and that we can continue rolling through life and appreciating it, we will achieved a wholeness that others can only aspire to.
And at the end, if we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous enough to rejoice in another's happiness, and wise enough to know there is enough love to go around for us all, then we can achieve a fulfillment that no other living creature will ever know.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
by anonymous
are you my missing piece? am i better off without you? *sigh* i just wish i knew the answers...anyway, thanks for keeping me sane...Labels: articles, snapshots
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Between You and Me...
i bought these for you - but i don't know if i'll ever have the courage to give them to you...
XOXOXOXOXOXO
good luck in your final week of school. i hope i get to see you some time during your break...Labels: random ramblings, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
6:14 AM
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Two Years...
two years of this - of spam, of VRs, and of outbreaks...
wasn't as smooth sailing as i'd like to claim, but at the end of the day - i have no regrets about coming and staying...
by the way, i made it two years without a single late...hahaha...it's such a dorky accomplishment to be proud of!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXO
February 26, 2004 - February 26, 2006Labels: random ramblings, snapshots, work-related
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
6:52 AM
Monday, January 30, 2006
Almost but not Quite...
I know it's not right to say you were mine, even if we did have our time. And no matter how painful it is for me to see how it meant nothing to you, I just have to deal with it and accept the fact that all I can hold on to is the thought that you were almost mine...
i found this quote in my two-year old files.
the realization that it's still something i could have written or said would have made me laugh with bitter irony if it weren't so painful. the situation is still practically the same, the only difference is that the thing i always believed to be true two years ago is now something i actually know for sure is the truth.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
image from Post SecretLabels: random ramblings, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
8:50 PM
Monday, January 02, 2006
Farewell My Love
I'm glad I finally gathered enough courage to have you read the moving on letter I wrote for you almost two years ago. Amidst one of the most comfortable dinners I've ever had with you, amidst one of the funniest movies I've watched, and amidst the most familiar of environments, I'm glad I didn't chicken out. More than anything else, I'm glad I was able to let you know in not so many words that I have silently loved you all these years.
I prepared myself to hear the worst and I did. I got answers to the questions I've wanted to ask for a while now. And like I already told you, even if I had to ask if you ever played me, I knew in my heart that you wouldn't be capable of doing that to anybody. It's just that in the darkest of hours and you weren't there to reassure me, I did consider that possibility. I'm sorry I ever doubted you and the way I know you.
I also got the truth that I badly needed to hear. You may have already gotten over the girl who used to stand between us, but there is someone else who's making you smile. And if you're happy with her, then I'm happy for you. I really hope you'll do things right this time.
It kills me to hear you say that there is no chance for us anymore. It saddens me to realize that we may have had something beautiful, but it came at a time when you weren't ready for it. For more than three years, I vainly held on to something I knew at the back of my mind should have just remained in the past. I held on to what I thought we had, to that moment I now know I will have to let go of.
I may not have gotten the answers I wanted but at least I know that the moment we shared, fleeting as it was, is real. Your honesty has also given me the chance to take back my life and my future - a life that I built around you and a future that I built with you in it.
I've always had a hard time moving on so I know the next few months wouldn't be easy. The love I gave you for the past three years made you more important to me than anybody else and it is this same love that I am hoping will bring me the acceptance I need to finally move on.
I wish with all my heart that the night we talked wouldn't be the last time we'd see each other. It pains me to know that in less than a year I might be leaving my world as I've always known it to be. And that when the time comes for me to leave, no matter how much I may wish to see you for the last time, I am not in any position to demand anything from you.
I pray that the Lord grant me the grace to love again and to receive the love I know I deserve.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
farewell to you my love...we shall see each other again on the day only fate knows when...Labels: scribblings from me, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
3:20 PM
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Hearing from You Again
funny how one text message can make all my efforts of forgetting you go to waste...but i'm glad to hear from you just the same...merry christmas!
XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: random ramblings, snapshots
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thank You
...thank you for touching my life in a way i can't even begin to describe.XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: random ramblings, snapshots
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Post Secret Postcard
i hope i never get to feel the pain of having this secret...
XOXOXOXOXOXO
one of my favorites from the Post Secret blog...Labels: random ramblings, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
8:54 PM
Monday, November 14, 2005
What If...
One of the saddest things that can happen to you is when your ex-boyfriend tells you the night before his wedding..."This could have been us!"
I got that quote a few years back and I remembered it while I was talking to my officemate about a scenario she gave me. She said, what if the night before my wedding you suddenly get to read all the letters I wrote for you that I never gave, and you finally decide to tell me you've loved me all these years but was just too scared to do anything about it. I really don't know what I'd do given that scenario. I guess it all depends on how I feel about you then and how much I love my would-be husband. Somehow though, I don't think I'd even consider marrying somebody if I know I have yet to let go of a past love. But then again, who can say for sure, right?
It'll be so sad if at the moment you finally get up the courage to owe up to what you feel for me I haven't just given you up, I've also decided to love someone who was brave enough to love me in return. I wish our story won't have to get to that point. I hope that when and if the day comes that you realize you have feelings for me after all, I still care for you enough to take the risk of loving again. Most of all, I hope that by then I'm still free enough to actually make a choice.
XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: scribblings from me, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
2:29 AM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Happy Birthday!
It's your birthday today and for the first time since 2002, I didn't attempt to call you at midnight and greet you. I contented myself with sending you a forwarded happy birthday text message. I don't know if you received my message though...because you never texted back. Not that you're obligated to respond or anything, it's just that during your past birthdays you would always reply thank you to my messages. I couldn't help but wonder what happened for you to react differently this year.When I decided not to call you like I used to do, I told myself I'm doing it because I would really want to start moving on. That's the mantra I kept repeating to myself the entire day. But I still can't stop myself from checking my phone every hour or so to see if you texted. Pathetic. I know.
For awhile now, I've been toying with the idea of telling you, once and for all, three years worth of everything - how I feel, what I think happened, and where I am now. I want to demand honest answers to my questions and finally put an end to this silent and painful vigil. But I'm scared. I'm scared that telling you everything will drive you away for good. I'm scared of losing what little I have now. I'm scared of losing you, even though I never really had you in the first place. Most of all, I'm scared of myself...of what I'm capable of doing. I'm scared that I would find myself breaking down in front of you and begging you for a chance. I'm scared of seeing my mask slip away, of watching my pride crumble before my eyes...XOXOXOXOXOXOfor him whom i hold close to my heart...happy birthdayLabels: scribblings from me, snapshots
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Bridge of Cards
missing this...missing you...
XOXOXOXOXOXOLabels: random ramblings, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
5:24 AM
Friday, April 22, 2005
My Senior Will
-
an idea taken from Sweet Valley's farewell edition
For him [who after more than two years still holds my heart in the palm of his hand]...I leave - baby Joseph, Oreos after Biochem exams, Bangkok pills, lunch and dinner outs, long letters and my green notebook, conversations and tambay after office hours, a deck of cards and countless bridge games [our 5 spades bid and win, the queen of diamonds, and the seven questions I think I still owe him], a UAAP Championship game ticket and a stroll around campus, a laughing trip movie gimmick and the Red Dragon movie we never got to watch, road trips and rides home, that one September 1 afternoon, warm hugs and chocolate kisses, the Red Ribbon parking lot and SEC C Lobby where things started, and everything else between what was and what could have been...
XOXOXOXOXOXO
i wait for the day i can say this with a real and definite goodbye...Labels: scribblings from me, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
4:10 PM
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
The Power of Holding Hands
I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand. They were hard at work building an elaborate sandcastle by the water's edge, with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand. I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle.
I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spent so much time and energy creating, are built on sand. Only our relationships with other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody's hand to hold will be able to smile.XOXOXOXOXOXO
by anonymous
for him whose hand i used to hold...Labels: articles, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @
4:56 PM
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Letting Go
My old Humanities II professor used to tell us that wallets are a lot like girls, "Dapat mong ingatan, kasi kung hindi mo iningatan, baka may mangyari." I know what he means. I just lost a wallet, and I just lost a girl. You know, it's the exact same thing.
One day, you just realize it's gone. You try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you could have lost it. You think, and you think hard, only to come upon the grim realization: it's really gone.
Of course, you hold on to some hope. After all, there have been some very, very lucky people who get it back. Perhaps you could become one of those blessed people. You sit home and you hope that someone would call, and that you would get it back. But then, some time passes, and you realize that it's still gone, and you realize that it's time to let go.
The first few days, you turn to your friends for support. Some tell you you'll be okay, some tell you that it was your fault and that you should have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences. They give you all sorts of advice, none you haven't heard before.
You then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don't really want a new one. You want the old one that you lost. NO, you don't want all these better-looking wallets, you want yours, because of how comfortable it is, because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.
You go out and carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your pocket instead. You throw away stuff that you would have held on to if you had your old wallet.
And then, finally, you find a new wallet you like and settle in.
You then start filling your new wallet, little by little. It still doesn't feel as comfortable as the old one, but it's getting there. Then you start putting in cards and pictures and other important stuff in the wallet. Soon enough, there's as much stuff in your new wallet as the old one. And then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new wallet. And then you realize that you've almost forgotten you ever had your old wallet. Sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost in that wallet. But then again, you don't remember the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost it.
That's because the wallet you lost is no longer your wallet. You're no longer holding on. This new wallet you're holding, it has all the important cards and pictures and stud you need. This is your wallet. And this time, you tell yourself, you're never losing this one.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
by anonymousLabels: articles, snapshots
