Monday, January 02, 2006
Farewell My Love
I'm glad I finally gathered enough courage to have you read the moving on letter I wrote for you almost two years ago. Amidst one of the most comfortable dinners I've ever had with you, amidst one of the funniest movies I've watched, and amidst the most familiar of environments, I'm glad I didn't chicken out. More than anything else, I'm glad I was able to let you know in not so many words that I have silently loved you all these years.
I prepared myself to hear the worst and I did. I got answers to the questions I've wanted to ask for a while now. And like I already told you, even if I had to ask if you ever played me, I knew in my heart that you wouldn't be capable of doing that to anybody. It's just that in the darkest of hours and you weren't there to reassure me, I did consider that possibility. I'm sorry I ever doubted you and the way I know you.
I also got the truth that I badly needed to hear. You may have already gotten over the girl who used to stand between us, but there is someone else who's making you smile. And if you're happy with her, then I'm happy for you. I really hope you'll do things right this time.
It kills me to hear you say that there is no chance for us anymore. It saddens me to realize that we may have had something beautiful, but it came at a time when you weren't ready for it. For more than three years, I vainly held on to something I knew at the back of my mind should have just remained in the past. I held on to what I thought we had, to that moment I now know I will have to let go of.
I may not have gotten the answers I wanted but at least I know that the moment we shared, fleeting as it was, is real. Your honesty has also given me the chance to take back my life and my future - a life that I built around you and a future that I built with you in it.
I've always had a hard time moving on so I know the next few months wouldn't be easy. The love I gave you for the past three years made you more important to me than anybody else and it is this same love that I am hoping will bring me the acceptance I need to finally move on.
I wish with all my heart that the night we talked wouldn't be the last time we'd see each other. It pains me to know that in less than a year I might be leaving my world as I've always known it to be. And that when the time comes for me to leave, no matter how much I may wish to see you for the last time, I am not in any position to demand anything from you.
I pray that the Lord grant me the grace to love again and to receive the love I know I deserve.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
farewell to you my love...we shall see each other again on the day only fate knows when...
Labels: scribblings from me, snapshots
a.o.u.i.e. scribbled this @ 3:20 PM
1 Comments
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said @ 2/10/2006 6:37 PM
i completely understand how you feel. may minahal din ako ng ganyan, pero hanggang ngayon di pa nawawala, kahit may pamilya na ako. i'll pray for you. God can heal your broken heart, but you have to give Him all the pieces.
nikkamd@yahoo.com
