Monday, August 29, 2005
Better
They were sitting on a bench. The cold night air blew kisses across the trees, to her lover in some far off land. The stars twinkled quietly, and one could hear the frogs croaking slowly. He sat on the right end, the bespectacled boy wearing the red shirt and brown pants. He was nursing a cup of coffee and a headache. The two beers and one cup of red wine in his system weren't helping either. She sat on the other end, the small girl wearing a black top and black and white skirt. She looked a bit harassed."So what happened back there?"
The boy closed his eyes and leaned back. He sighed as he felt tears squeeze through. It wasn't very noticeable with the glasses on.
"Your damn boyfriend got drunk. I don't know why. He's got no reason to get drunk. If anyone should have gotten drunk, it should have been me. Not him."
The girl stood up and went inside. It was two in the morning, and everyone else was either relaxing or sleeping. He could feel the warmth of the coffee in his hands. It was the only warmth in him he could feel.
He finished his coffee, went inside, and washed his hair and face. His eyes were bloodshot, his face was flushed, and yet his skin felt cold and hard.
The bespectacled boy went out to the living room with his friend. His friend wore a black shirt, black pants, and a goatee to the party. He had no alcohol in his system.
"What's the matter?"
Tears fell from the bespectacled boy's eyes. He hugged his legs and rocked himself. He was sobbing now, while the goateed friend's hand clasped his shoulder.
"Is it about her?"
The bespectacled boy looked at his friend. He was thankful that his friend was there.
"I love her. I am in love with her. But she will never care for me the same way that I care for her. She will never care."
Those words were enough for the goateed friend. He felt the pain in his friend's eyes. He knew that the bespectacled boy would not tell him anything else, not unless he says something. He cleared his throat.
"It's better to have love and lost -"
"Not when you love every morning, not when you think that this might be the day when she finally cares for you, when she finally sees you and loves you. Not when you think all this, only to have it all come crashing down, everything you expected destroyed at the end of the day. Not when you know that even though you felt all these things, all this pain and hurt, you will expect to feel the same way again tomorrow. That tomorrow you will love, and lose, her again. It's not better when you love, and you lose, every single day, and know that you will come back for more."
The bespectacled boy slumped himself on the floor, face down. He could feel, the cold marble, so lonely. He felt his heart turn cold the same way the marble was cold. His heart was now stone, empty and hard.
The goateed friend looked pitifully at the bespectacled boy. He knew that what his friend was saying was right. He had to make him feel better.
"Who knows? Maybe this will be it. Maybe they will end it. Maybe -"
"Who are you fooling? I know that whatever I do, whatever I did, will count for nothing tomorrow. I know that he will apologize, she will forgive him, and they will continue living their happy lives. There was this time, when she told me that they were on a break, a cool-off she told me. I was sad for her, but at the same time I was elated. I thought that this might be it. My big break. After I talked with her, I started baking. It was one of those small things I could do well. I baked her a brownie cake, I knew she liked chocolate. I boxed it and went to bed. It was about three in the morning when I finished. I bought a card the following day. We have the same schedule in one of our classes, and I thought I could give it to her then. As I walked along with a smile on my face, I saw her sitting there. Beside her was her boyfriend. And that stinks since I so wanted to give her that cake. I was hurt badly, and I haven't learned a thing from it."
The bespectacled boy was not crying now. He was weeping painfully. His goateed friend could feel tears come to his eyes. The boy continued.
"I've made a couple of years worth of wrong choices."
"My friend, you think you made wrong choices. But in reality, there are no wrong choices. The decisions that you make, when you think, plan, consider, rethink, and execute, could never be wrong. When you are true to what you believe in, when you are true to what you feel, you can never make wrong choices."
The boy looked up. He sat up, wiped his tears, and cleaned his glasses. The goateed friend helped him up.
"Come on. You need to sleep. Not on the floor though. There are other people in this house. It will be better in the morning."
The boy smiled, and looked at his friend.
"No, it won't."
The friend smiled back, patted the boy's back, and looked forward.
"I know."
XOXOXOXOXOXO
by anino25502 [from peyups]
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