Thursday, June 09, 2005
A Birthday Girl's Issues
I was born on a day mapped out to be a free day for the next x number of years. I was born on a day destined to be an afterthought if not completely forgotten by people who I think are my friends. I was born on a day made to be subsumed into all the other festivities around it.My birthday has never been exciting. Ok, maybe on two occasions in my life so far-- first, when I celebrated my 9th birthday while in Disneyworld and second, when my friends decided to give me a surprise debut at the Ateneo ISO back in first year college (because they knew I wouldn't be having one - possibly out of fear no one would come...). On all other occasions, I have celebrated my birthday on the plane ride home [and that really isn't much of a celebration], or at home because it's the free day before or after intramurals or because it's the weekend.
The first time my birthday was actually a school day was when I was in 1st year high school. It was a Thursday. I woke up at 5:30am, got greeted by my family (they never forget my birthday) and went to school. My bus mates didn't have a clue; neither did my classmates, save for my seatmate. The day was proceeding just like any other day until someone in class stood up, pointed at me and scandalously screamed Oh my god! It's your birthday! Happy birthday! I remember wanting the ground to swallow me up at that moment.
Maybe people crave for the attention a moment like that bestows upon one, but I certainly am not one of those people. I really am not one for huge scandalous displays. She might as well have been one of those waiters/waitresses in those restaurants where they announce to the entire establishment that you're getting older via a mini song and dance number. A nice polite happy birthday would have sufficed. Anyway, I got the requisite happy birthdays and pleas for libre then the day sank back into its regular pace as if nothing had ever happened.
And that's the way my birthday has always been; a post it reminder - in everyone else's filled up agenda books.
It's such a small post it reminder that even my supposedly close friends only remember it days if not weeks after I've had it. It's such a trivial piece of information that I can actually post it as one of the questions on a quiz your friends quiz and know people will get it wrong. It is such a regular day that the people who have birthdays on days before or after it decide to have their birthday parties on MY birthday, and then feel bad because I can't attend or they supposedly purposely plan their party on MY birthday to make me attend our joint birthday party [uh yeah.. sure... great...]
So why not have my own party? Well, I've tried that, and found out that people (who are supposed to be my friends) are all too busy to show up for dinner (not even a party - I'm really not much for parties), or even remember that I invited them for dinner. Maybe I'm not worth their time, maybe they are just really truly busy people... maybe, maybe, maybe..... *rolleyes*
I don't have any growing older issues but yes, I have birthday issues.
Throughout the years, I really tried my best to remember to greet people on their birthday because I knew how bad it felt not to be remembered by anyone, other than a wonderful family who decides to barge into my room and wake me up at 12:01am just to greet me with chocolate cake and ice cream. In the past few years, I've slowly stopped greeting people because apparently, birthdays aren't supposed to be special. They're evil societal creations engineered to make you think it's your special day - all the stories, TV shows, etc... have made it out to be so, but in reality it's just an excuse for people without lunch to leech some food off of you, and it's just an opportunity for everyone around you to make you feel how insignificant you really are to them.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
by candyp0p [from peyups]
...it's that time of the year again *sigh*
Labels: articles
